Category Archives: Relationship

Connection is the Secret Sauce of Success

Posted on by under Connection, Consulting, Marketing, Recovery, Relationship

Connection is the secret sauce of success. It’s what makes living worthwhile and fun.

One of the greatest joys in my life is learning about yours. Yes, even if we’ve not yet met. I want to hear about your problems, joys, and challenges. What’s going on in your life, for real. Not the public “Social Media Smile” version. The raw, real, nitty-gritty truth of what is working and what is not in your business or professional life. Why? Because life, and business for that matter, is all about connection and relationships. And it is in sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of ourselves or our businesses — being vulnerable — that bonds are formed. It’s also how I have made a living and a life for the past thirty years and hopefully for many more.

Even though most of us crave connection on some level, how many of us have been burned or are reticent to share? To let others know what is really going on because if they knew they may they may think less of us.

I encounter this all the time while attempting to establish rapport with prospective new clients like you, especially if I have not yet earned your trust. But to properly come up with a solution, I need to know what’s really going on — what problems are you facing and what do you know or not know about the problem or how to fix it.

I attended a writing webinar the other day and the speaker implored the audience not to look for the first tool they found to solve a problem until they knew what problem they were trying to fix or what they were trying to accomplish. Seems like comment sense, right? But, as the speaker pointed out if you are going to build a table, Channellock’s are not going to be of much use. Can you relate? I know I can.

There is a lot of wisdom in what he said. In sales, in recovery, in relationships, and in life, the temptation to rummage through our toolbox at the first hint of a problem is like a bad habit — hard to break. It takes a lot of self-control to not reach for the first tool to solve a problem especially if we think we can fix it.

Healthy relationships are built on trust. And many are broken, because of a lack of trust or true connection. Healthy relationships in ANY area of our lives depend on the exchange of information, opportunities, problems, and shared wisdom and effort. And sometimes, especially in intimate relationships, that trust is built on just listening. Not solving a problem or trying to fix it. Just offering an empathetic ear if you will. Fortunately for me, I have a wife who reminds me of this fact anytime I put on my “Fix-it Man “ hat after she has shared something that is bothering her or causing her stress. Her willingness to teach me how to better connect has helped me become a better listener, mostly.

That’s important, but in a consulting, sales, or counseling position you need to temper listening, empathy, and rapport with wisdom, confidence, and trust if you are to be successful. It’s both a science and an art. That is one of the reasons I love what I do so much. I get to connect, troubleshoot, and help others. And when we solve a problem, everyone is happy. Doing so makes me feel useful. But trust and success require effort by all parties.

So why did I even take time out of a busy day that included multiple client appointments, a trip to the ER for my mom, and now a five-minute blog on the importance of connection to our happiness? Because it brings me joy to help others.

By helping others, I help myself. That’s the deal. It’s why I work with alcoholics in recovery. It’s why I reach out to new clients. It’s why I write and speak and lead and do all the things I do. Because I care. I care about you even if we never meet. And sometimes that’s enough to inspire someone else to do something they have been wanting to do but didn’t have the courage to try yet.

Because I want to connect with you. Whether it’s through this blog. Through my books, in a recovery meeting, or if you are a business owner who needs marketing help, I want to be there. It’s what I do. I help people identify and solve problems. I help others become better.

If you want to connect, reach out. I can be found at shawnlangwell.com. Let’s discuss what you may need and see if there is a fit. If not, that’s cool too. I hope that in some way this post made you think a little bit differently about connection and how easy it is to integrate all aspects of your life into a common thread that can provide joy, purpose, and a new level of significance to your life.

Until next time,

Never give up on your dream and never stop trying to connect. It’s the secret sauce of all success.

“Be the change you desire…

Posted on by under Hope, Love, Relationship

They say I’m a dreamer… I’m not the only one…

I love Steve Jobs quote, ”The people crazy enough to think they can change the world are usually the ones who do.”

I believe it. Do you? I’ve seen it happen so many times already in my lifetime.  Someone comes up with a new way to put together things and suddenly we have new industries, new ways of communicating, new ways of travel.

What will be the next big paradigm shift in our world? Who knows? One keeps coming up for me that I am very passionate about.

It’s not new. In fact, it has been around since the dawn of our existence. It is not unique to man either. Before humans inhabited the earth, this powerful force was alive and well. It touched every living creature on the planet in some way. It is something that people will die for. It has the capacity to change someone’s life forever or when withheld, destroy it. It is free which would lead one to believe that it was ubiquitous, but sadly, it is not.

I, like many of those around the world have been at odds with each other over values, opinions, ideals, religion, race, and politics for far too long.

There is something that can wipe away pain, dissension, hate, judgment, and prejudice. Virtually all of us have the solution in us already, sometimes though we don’t use it. Instead we would rather be right or on one side or the other.  We all have the capacity to love.

How hard is it to be kind? How hard is it to love another even if you disagree with their opinion? Would you no longer love your wife or child if they didn’t agree with you? What if they had different values, beliefs, religions than you? What would you do? Would you love them anyway? Why then is it increasingly difficult to do our own part of loving one another? If you stopped to think about it, if we all loved each other, there would be no more war. There would be no more famine. There would be no more hate or prejudice. No, what I am suggesting though, is that the blame has to stop. It’s time each of us steps up and takes personal responsibility to be a little more loving.

All we need is love.

Each of us has within ourselves the capacity to love another human being. Yes, it is a choice. I am not saying that we need to like everyone or even agree. But, for crying-out-loud, embrace our differences!  We are all unique creations with a purpose. I seriously doubt our true purpose in this brief time on planet earth is to tear down each other and consume as much as we possibly can before it’s all gone.

Earth

There is more than enough for all. Some of us have been blessed with more resources than others. We all have a virtually unlimited capacity for love and kindness.  Unfortunately, like muscles, they need to be exercised.

I have done my best not to engage in the slamming of one side or another especially on Facebook. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the fear and hate that is being spread on media like a California Wildfire. We all have choices. We all have our values, morals, ethics, beliefs, and opinions. I am not advocating that we all become yes men and women. I am advocating though, that we need to practice a little more kindness, empathy, and love toward one another.

After reading a couple friends rants and posts on Facebook recently I started to get angry. Rather than engage in the polarized, virtual, not face-to-face dialogue that was only going to go around in circles I posted this instead—

“Be the change you desire— spreading hate just fuels the fire.
Try instead, if we might, to live in peace, harmony, and light.
To love and be loved no fear, no spite.”

Kiss your babies if you got em.  And hold the door open once in awhile.

Love a little more, you’ll feel better, I guarantee it.
Hey, if we all got along a little better we could change the world!

Who wants to prove Steve Jobs right?

Shawn Langwell
Author/Speaker

To hear more listen to recent interview here: Langwell Interview 7-14-17

 

 

Feeling Stuck?

Posted on by under Beliefs, emotional health, Goals, Inspiration, Mindset, Neural patways, Personal Growth, Relationship, Self awareness

Ever feel like you’re a human doing instead of a human being?

Are you caught in the rat race of life feeling like there is never enough time to do all you want to do?

I don’t know about you but I go through seasons in life where things seem to be clicking and all is falling into place as I would like.  I am happy and content, and then something shifts.  I say yes to too many things. I become over-extended. I want to do it all yet there never seems to be enough hours in the day. I come home exhausted, burnt-out, and have nothing left for my family.

Fortunately, there is hope and resources to help. You can learn how to “leverage your thought life to live your best life.”

It takes a concerted effort to break out of the Home-Work-Sleep routine to live life fully as, I believe, we were all intended to.

I have been invited to participate in a “Master Your Mindset” web interview series with Darcy Lubow and 8-12 other coaches, trainers, and thought leaders from around the world.

If you feel stuck and want a way to break through some of the limiting  thought patterns, false narratives, and feelings that may be holding you back from your dreams and goals then you’ll want to sign up for this free event.

It will be live July 5-11. Click below for details and to sign up…registration is FREE.

Free Master Your Mindset Web Interview Series

I hope you can join us.

In the meantime, if you’d like to receive future updates about goal setting, and achieving all you we’re intended to, please join my email list.

Email contact

Thank you for your support and encouragement.

We are all destined to leave this world a little better than it was when we came into it. Let’s do it together by starting with ourselves.

Shawn

I love you Dad.

Posted on by under Family, Father's Day, Love, Relationship

Dear Dad,
I love you and miss you.
Thank you for your love, even when we were apart.

Thank you for showing me what it’s like to be humble; to be curious about our world, faith, and life.
I feel your presence often and know that you are at peace. I only wish we could’ve spent one more day together to talk about life. I get choked up thinking of all we did and all we could’ve done. We missed out on years of connection, but, in the end, like a relationship with a close friend, when we were able to say I love you to each other and have closure it was as if time stood still. I am grateful for all that you were and all that you gave.
When we meet again, we can have that chocolate milkshake I promised you.
Love,

your son Shawn.