Tag Archives: Connection

What could you accomplish if you had the confidence and belief that you would succeed?  

Posted on by under Belief, Confidence, Self-Confidence, Speaking Engagement, Ten Seconds of Boldness

What if you decided to take the first bold step?

A week ago I had the privilege of being a guest on Aspire with Osha, a podcast produced and hosted by Osha Hayden where I answer that question and offer listeners and readers insights on life, recovery, and why I wrote Ten Seconds of Boldness.

Drawing upon her experience as a psychotherapist, mediator, trainer, and artist, Osha is the consummate host. Says, Osha on her website, “My show is all about connections–how art connects with nature which is essential for humanity. How people can steer their passion into creating and contributing to a better world—a more positive future for us all, in ways both great and small.”

I Felt the Fear and Did it Anyway

Despite the fact that I had just finished writing a book about developing courage and boldness to become self-confident, I won’t lie, I was nervous about the interview.

I still get nervous before every speaking engagement. This interview was no different. I still waste time worrying about how I sound—am I too quiet, too direct, blunt, or do I have the late-night radio DJ voice of empathy and compassion, offset by flourishes of enthusiasm and excitement? In other words, am I being myself or trying to sound or be like someone else? I only know how to be me, and that is enough.

I only know how to be me, and that is enough.

Then the worry train blows its whistle and the critic, turned conductor, shouts, “ALL ABOARD!” Quickly my thoughts become a series of worry laden, what ifs—what if I say something I’ll later regret (not that I have ever done that). What if I forget important material or worse, freeze on air? (Fortunately, the interview was prerecorded which alleviated some of my anxiety). You get the idea.

Then I immediately start thinking about what I am going to say—will I remember the key points? What if I cuss or say something stupid? At some point, I stop worrying about it all and decide to just be myself. I tell myself I am not going to die if mess up. Somehow admitting and accepting that, takes the pressure off.

I process any and all self-defeating garbage that still goes through my mind, and I do it anyway.

Why? Because I like to lead by example. And if I just spent five years writing a book to inspire others to find the passion and courage to pursue their dreams and goals, I damn well better put money where my mouth is.

The Conversation

After the introduction, the gremlins in my head slowly settled down within minutes of getting started. The critics stopped barking, and, thanks to Osha, I dropped into a zone of vulnerability. She made it safe, easy, and comfortable for me to share personal stories with one sole purpose: to inspire and help others take a chance on themselves.

And when I started to wander off into the weeds, Osha deftly brought me back to my center, reminding me of the important points covered in the book such as what important questions we should ask ourselves if we want to be successful, what is success, and what I wanted listeners and readers to walk away with.

I am sure every listener will find at least one nugget to help them take one bold step forward on a journey of personal growth and self-confidence.

Enjoy,

Shawn

Connection is the Secret Sauce of Success

Posted on by under Connection, Consulting, Marketing, Recovery, Relationship

Connection is the secret sauce of success. It’s what makes living worthwhile and fun.

One of the greatest joys in my life is learning about yours. Yes, even if we’ve not yet met. I want to hear about your problems, joys, and challenges. What’s going on in your life, for real. Not the public “Social Media Smile” version. The raw, real, nitty-gritty truth of what is working and what is not in your business or professional life. Why? Because life, and business for that matter, is all about connection and relationships. And it is in sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly parts of ourselves or our businesses — being vulnerable — that bonds are formed. It’s also how I have made a living and a life for the past thirty years and hopefully for many more.

Even though most of us crave connection on some level, how many of us have been burned or are reticent to share? To let others know what is really going on because if they knew they may they may think less of us.

I encounter this all the time while attempting to establish rapport with prospective new clients like you, especially if I have not yet earned your trust. But to properly come up with a solution, I need to know what’s really going on — what problems are you facing and what do you know or not know about the problem or how to fix it.

I attended a writing webinar the other day and the speaker implored the audience not to look for the first tool they found to solve a problem until they knew what problem they were trying to fix or what they were trying to accomplish. Seems like comment sense, right? But, as the speaker pointed out if you are going to build a table, Channellock’s are not going to be of much use. Can you relate? I know I can.

There is a lot of wisdom in what he said. In sales, in recovery, in relationships, and in life, the temptation to rummage through our toolbox at the first hint of a problem is like a bad habit — hard to break. It takes a lot of self-control to not reach for the first tool to solve a problem especially if we think we can fix it.

Healthy relationships are built on trust. And many are broken, because of a lack of trust or true connection. Healthy relationships in ANY area of our lives depend on the exchange of information, opportunities, problems, and shared wisdom and effort. And sometimes, especially in intimate relationships, that trust is built on just listening. Not solving a problem or trying to fix it. Just offering an empathetic ear if you will. Fortunately for me, I have a wife who reminds me of this fact anytime I put on my “Fix-it Man “ hat after she has shared something that is bothering her or causing her stress. Her willingness to teach me how to better connect has helped me become a better listener, mostly.

That’s important, but in a consulting, sales, or counseling position you need to temper listening, empathy, and rapport with wisdom, confidence, and trust if you are to be successful. It’s both a science and an art. That is one of the reasons I love what I do so much. I get to connect, troubleshoot, and help others. And when we solve a problem, everyone is happy. Doing so makes me feel useful. But trust and success require effort by all parties.

So why did I even take time out of a busy day that included multiple client appointments, a trip to the ER for my mom, and now a five-minute blog on the importance of connection to our happiness? Because it brings me joy to help others.

By helping others, I help myself. That’s the deal. It’s why I work with alcoholics in recovery. It’s why I reach out to new clients. It’s why I write and speak and lead and do all the things I do. Because I care. I care about you even if we never meet. And sometimes that’s enough to inspire someone else to do something they have been wanting to do but didn’t have the courage to try yet.

Because I want to connect with you. Whether it’s through this blog. Through my books, in a recovery meeting, or if you are a business owner who needs marketing help, I want to be there. It’s what I do. I help people identify and solve problems. I help others become better.

If you want to connect, reach out. I can be found at shawnlangwell.com. Let’s discuss what you may need and see if there is a fit. If not, that’s cool too. I hope that in some way this post made you think a little bit differently about connection and how easy it is to integrate all aspects of your life into a common thread that can provide joy, purpose, and a new level of significance to your life.

Until next time,

Never give up on your dream and never stop trying to connect. It’s the secret sauce of all success.