Tag Archives: Goals

Seven Simple Suggestions for Success

Posted on by under Personal Growth, Self-Improvement, Success, Ten Seconds of Boldness

“Be like a five-year-old. Never stop asking what and why.” -Shawn Langwell

The following is an excerpt from Chapter 23, The Power of Association and Perpetual Curiosity of Ten Seconds of Boldness.

1. ABC — Always be Curious. Never stop learning about ways to improve or seeking out others who have what you want. Be bold and ask questions. You will be amazed at how many people love to talk about themselves if they think they will help you. Seriously.

2. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know.” Don’t be shy about saying what your purpose is or afraid to ask for help. Most people enjoy helping someone who is passionate. Be passionate.

3. Associate with “winners.” Be around people who are where you want to be, or have the success you’d like, and gather input from them. Take a page out of Coach Lavin’s book and spend time immersed in the environment you think you want to be in.

4. Do what it takes to live your dream.

5. Never lose sight of your why. Your enthusiasm and passion alone will open doors of opportunity and help you. Let your why shine bright.

6. Be bolder.

7. Never give up on yourself.

Seek. Ask. Find.

Learn, practice, and fail fast. As you do, your confidence will grow.

Here’s what some of those tips look like on a practical level:

If you want to be _______, read, and seek out material and people who can help. Ask for help. Associate with them. Learn, practice, and fail fast. As you do, your confidence will grow.

Want to become better? Hire a coach, therapist, or trainer, find a mentor, or register for a seminar or school to learn from experts.

Even experts have opinions, and sometimes getting advice from too many sources creates more confusion because you are not confident about whose advice you should trust or follow.

I find it is more efficient to first get an idea of what I think I want, then ask others who have either already accomplished that goal or who may offer me some insight to point me in the right direction. But be careful who you ask. Even experts have opinions, and sometimes getting advice from too many sources creates more confusion because you are not confident about whose advice you should trust or follow.

The same thing can easily happen when surfing the web, and trying to find accurate advice or information from a reputable source. Even if the source is reliable, you will not always find a singular right answer. Unless it’s math, there usually isn’t one. So, it’s going to take some trial and error. The point is don’t expect to do it all yourself or become self-made.

Photo by Westwind Air Service on Unsplash

 

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If you like what you’ve read, please share it.

The longer I live the more I realize how tenuous our time is on this planet. The more we connect, collaborate, and share what’s working and what’s not with each other, the more apt we are to live happier, healthier, and richer lives.

Here’s to your success, whatever that means to you. 

The Art of Getting Started

Posted on by under Getting Started, Hiking, Overcoming Procastnation Habit

Five easy tips to stop thinking and start doing

Full disclosure: I procrastinate all the time. I doubt I am alone. I will often make grand plans or a long to-do list or be excited about the next book I want to write or course I want to create and then I start overthinking. Fear and doubt creep in. What started as the next best thing since sliced bread becomes another handful of coffee-stained pages in a college-ruled composition book casually tossed on the floor next to the piles of cat fur.

Procrastination is a habit that I keep wanting to change but never seem to get around to.

That reminds me of an old friend who was a specialty advertising product salesman. He always had something else going on the side that he was peddling- usually some form of MLM or get-rich-quick scheme. He was shameless about self-promotion often pushing his plans in a private club without scruples for what others may think. Time after time he’d hear no—

“I don’t have the time.”

“I don’t have the money.”

“Not now.” They’d say.

“If not now, when?”, he’d press.

“I dunno. When I get around to it,” was the frequent response.

Then he came up with a bold plan. With each rejection, rather than handing them a business card and saying call me if you change your mind, he’d hand them a medallion. On the face, it said, “Round to it”. On the back were his name and phone number.

It was hilarious, like an adept prosecutor, he’d lead the prospect to say, “When I get around to it.” And as he handed them the medallion, he’d smile and say well now you’re out of excuses, because you have a “round to it.”

This story goes back thirty-five years and I often return to it whenever I put off something or feel stuck.

It’s interesting how creative people can become when trying to solve something so simple.

There are many ways to break the procrastination habit. It’s interesting how creative people can become when trying to solve something so simple.

All we really need is one: Do it.

Just fucking do it.

That’s right stop thinking, worrying, trying to get all the ducks lined up and the planets to align and for mercury to get out of retrograde, and make a list of shit that’s important to you and just fucking do it.

But you don’t understand… Yes, I do. 100%. Because I am right there with you. I buy into my own bullshit excuses of why I don’t do something all the time. And, like you, I have my own reasons for not doing “it” yet. Most of them are based on some type of fear—failure; rejection; unknown, etc. The list of excuses is as long as we want to make it.

The list of solutions is not nearly as long. In fact, most of the stress we have in our lives would be eliminated if we just got the shit done that we wanted to when it ought to be done and stopped putting it off until we feel like it.

Could you imagine if businesses were run only when we felt like doing the work? How would that work out?

Why then should we expect our personal goals and “to-dos” to be less important than what we do to earn a living?

We shouldn’t right?

So what are the five easy tips to overcome procrastination?

#1 Know what it is you want to do (Make a list and prioritize it).

#2 Make a decision and become willing to do it.

#3 Know why you want it—what will it mean to you when you do it?

How does the success of completing it make you feel or improve your life?

#4 Make a plan to get it done.

#5 Do one thing to move you closer to completing it every day until it’s done.

Easy right? So what are you waiting for? Get to it.

Want a FREE PLANNING TOOL TO OVERCOME PROCRASTINATION?

Visit shawnlangwell.com and sign up for my email list.

I don’t sell your name and only use it to send any latest musings, advice, or life lessons. If you need more encouragement, shoot me a message: at shawnlangwellwriter@gmail.com. If you want to learn more about silencing your inner critics, overcoming procrastination, getting over writers’ block, or increasing your self-confidence, you should buy and read my latest book, Ten Seconds of Boldness. It will change your life if you are willing to change.

Photo by Chad Greiter on Unsplash

Getting Comfortable Being Uncomfortable

Posted on by under Confidence, Courage, Decision Making, Habits, Ten Seconds of Boldness

Reality check: How are your New Year plans taking shape?

It’s only a week into the new year and I suspect many are already battling the fear and doubt of change. Struggling to find the time, energy, motivation, and discipline necessary to follow through with the first steps of their grand plans. Perhaps what was a voice of confidence and courage is now cowering under a blanket with a pint of Hagan Daz and binge-watching Netflix.

 I get it. I did that too. 

Well, not the ice cream part. But I had an excuse, I was sick.

But now I am back and ready to help others who need a little encouragement to take the first steps to what they say they want. Even as an atmospheric river dumps inches of rain and feet of snow all around California, I am ready. 

Are you? 

How’s it going? Are you feeling good about your progress so far or are you already beating yourself up for all the shit you said you were going to do but haven’t yet? 

Life is not a straight line, it’s messy.

Guess what? Life is not a straight line, it’s messy. But I wonder if you had good intentions to somehow make this year different what are you doing that is not the same as last year?

are YOU going to muster enough courage to become uncomfortable?

Newsflash: If your answer is nothing, then how can you ever sincerely believe that you will get what you want? Are the good wish fairies going to magically appear in the middle of the night and wash away all your problems and excuses or are YOU going to muster enough courage to become uncomfortable?

I can’t answer that for you. But I can offer you some hope, inspiration and encouragement. It may be that is all you are missing — someone to tell you that you can, that you are worth it; someone to believe in you until you believe in yourself.

If that’s the case, keep reading. 

One new habit I am making is becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable. That can be scary. It usually is. But since I wrote Ten Seconds of Boldness — I am finding that I must practice what I preach if I want anything to change.

That means being bold enough to change and disciplined enough to practice especially when it’s awkward. 

One thing I was struggling with was whether or not to invest in producing an audiobook. Well after tons of positive feedback from a small sample, the producers shared at a recent writers’ conference, I decided to take the plunge and one more bold step forward toward my own dream of becoming a speaker, podcast host, and best-selling author. 

I know it’s not going to happen overnight. But I also know that no matter what goals I have set for myself in the past, I feel much better when I am in the process of making them happen. Not merely wishing or thinking about them. Instead, with each new goal I set to do something new, awkward, or uncomfortable, I make s conscious decision to practice and fall until I figure it out.

I feel the fear and do it anyway knowing I am probably going to suck at first.

I feel the fear and do it anyway knowing I am probably going to suck at first. Instead of being paralyzed by my own fear of failure stepping into it with the bold conviction and determination to keep at it until I succeed.

Perhaps you know what this tug of war between self-doubt and ambition feels like too. 

It’s called fear. 

The antidote is courage. 

If you are struggling with the inspiration and motivation to other get started or stick with your plans, I encourage you to listen to my interview with podcast host, Osha Hayden. The secret to what you may be missing is in that podcast.

I’m always happy to help you map out a plan and strategy for whatever it is you want to accomplish. All you have to do is be bold enough to ask. 

Here’s the link to Osha Hayden’s Aspire with Osha Podcast

You can listen to the inspiring interview with me on Ten Seconds of Boldness here. Enjoy!

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If you found this entertaining or helpful and want to read more of my articles, and stories follow me here and sign up for my email list to get all my latest musings, advice, or life lessons. If you need more encouragement, shoot me a message at shawnlangwellriter@gmail.com.

Photo by Derek Thomson on Unsplash

50 Tips on How to Write a Book in 30 Days or Less

Posted on by under Writing Tips

Anyone can write 50,000 words in one month and I’ll show you how.

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

Tips and tricks I learned from National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo):

  1. Like any goal break it down into smaller milestones. For this project take 50,000 and divide it by thirty. That equates to 1,666 words a day. That’s how I have done this four times. At first, it seemed utterly impossible. It is for many because they believe they can’t do it.
  2. As with any goal, when you break it down into bite-sized pieces it is easier. Literally, break it down into something you believe you can do.
  3. Stay above the line. Meaning there will be days when you don’t write. That’s OK. Just write more the next day to keep your average above 1,666 words per day—above the line.
  4. Goals are merely benchmarks to remind you where you are in relation to where you want to be. They are not a destination. They are measures. Innocuous. They do not define your worth.
  5. Work with what you have. How many words do you speak in a day? Research says that on average we speak about 7,000 words in a day. We hear 20,000–30,000. We think about 6,000 thoughts in a day. So volume is not the problem.
  6. Belief and organization is the problem. So are a slew of other excuses.
  7. Writing is s function of slowing down long enough to hear, and capture some of these 6,000 thoughts, or extending what we say throughout the day into a recording device or through writing to see where this conversation we have in our head leads.
  8. It’s not necessary to know where it’s going or to even have a clear destination in mind as we begin
  9. The most important thing to writing 50,000 words in a month is to get started.
  10. Capture 200-300 words into bite-sized thoughts. Don’t worry about connecting the dots or editing, just write them down.
  11. Keep writing. You will likely find that writing 200–300 words is not that difficult at all.
  12. If you don’t want to type speak them into a note app and then copy and paste them into a word document. Before you know it you will reach 200–300 words faster than you can imagine. How can I say this so confidently? Because the average person speaks at a rate of around 140 words per minute. Expert typists can reach speeds of 65- 95 words per minute. On average 40 wpm is really good.
  13. So how long would it take you to speak 200–300 words into a recorder? Two minutes, maybe three. Some people may be able to do that in 1–2 breaths.
  14. So the word count is not the problem. Your mindset is. Your need for perfection for being right is the problem. Your lack of confidence to believe that you actually have something of value that others may find helpful or interesting is the problem.
  15. How do you overcome that? I’ll give you one guess—Write. Speak. Copy. Paste.
  16. Keep at it. Let go of your attachment to clarity, punctuation, and perfectionism. Just barf all that shit up on a page and keep going. When you hit 300 words, write some more. Keep writing until you have exhausted all the thoughts feelings perceptions and attitudes you can think of for that particular train of thought then take a break.
  17. Go for a walk. Bring your recorder with you. Why? Because you will likely find more information or new inspirations.
  18. Pay attention to all the details around you. The smell of fresh-cut grass. The way the trees sway in the autumn breeze. See how the maples stand like paint brushes loaded with crimson, vermillion, or cadmium red how bright they stand against clouds of titanium white and the cerulean sky.
  19. Listen to the quail chick scraping for bugs, skittering behind their mother beneath the blackberry bush.
  20. Hear the crows yakking away on garage day scoping out the best unprotected overflowing garbage cans for easy snacks.
  21. Smell the dirty diapers in the gray refuse bin as you meander along your neighborhood street.
  22. Feel the nippiness on your ears and nose as a chilly gust ruffles the falling leaves sending them scratching along the pavement.
  23. Take it all in in a giant deep breath. Feel your chest expand and exhale the stress you have felt from trying to do too much. From trying to be all that you think others want you to be. At this moment just be present/ alive. Feel grateful for all your senses and the air that fills your lungs and the thoughts of being alone fully present to experience these ordinary but magical moments and capture them in your mind. In your recorder. And write about them.
  24. That is all writing is—paying attention to your five senses and seeing where they lead, then memorializing them as a photograph to remind you of a moment in time. And to invite others into that moment so they can relive it as you did. That’s it.
  25. Now with the recorder in hand, dictate all you have just heard observed, and felt, and when you get back to your desk open up your word doc and begin to copy and paste.
  26. Copy and paste.
  27. When you are done highlighting all that you have just put down in a brief stroll you will likely be amazed that you have more than 2500 words.
  28. Many thoughts will become seeds of future stories. You do not need to decide what to do with them at this moment but if you feel inspired take one and plant it. Water it. Watch it grow and see what it becomes.
  29. Remember to pay attention. No book will ever be completed without first collecting seeds. They will not grow into a story or book unless you invest the time to nurture them. So collect. Capture. And write.
  30. Go with the flow. You do not get to choose what it becomes your job is to gather the essence and present it in a way that makes some sense. You trust the direction your inner muse wants to take you. To take the story to those it may touch.
  31. The rest is not up to you. That is for the universe to decide. Your job is to be the pen and the paper to record and create. Record what comes through you. What you see. Hear. Feel. Turn your experience into something that has more powerful before the moment slips away.
  32. You will find as you practice this that one idea or thought or phrase can become seeds for many other ideas.
  33. On some occasions, you may want to brainstorm what those are. Then pick the one, two, or three that seem to matter to you at that moment in time and go with them think of writing as a treasure hunt. You are collecting pieces for something important even though you don’t know what that is, yet.
  34. That takes the pressure off it. It allows for your creativity and the inner muse or spirit to flow through you. Think of this process as Ex-lax for writer’s block and a tonic for your writer’s soul.
  35. The more you do this you will soon find that it can become an obsession. Your mind gets on a path like a runaway locomotive gathering momentum. You write till your wrist cramps and your fingers bleed and when the thoughts keep chugging along you grab your recorder and speak them until you have nothing left/ Then you pause and take another break. Perhaps for the day.
  36. But before you do you look quickly to see how far you have come. 4,000 words and it seemed effortless!
  37. Put this experience into a folder called “confidence bank”.
  38. Save this and many other moments of accomplishment to review on those days when you feel stuck, depressed, or an imposter.
  39. Read them for inspiration. They are your accomplishments, things you did when you find think you could. Cherish them. Know that you can do this anytime you decide to.
  40. Know too that you can stop when you want to.Gove yourself permission to pause.
  41. The point is to let go of your attachment to performance to achievement to need something to be fully thought out, clear and concise. Write a shitty first draft. Puke all over the page. Then clean it up later.
  42. As Mark Manson would say you need to learn the subtle art of not giving a fuck.
  43. Just fucking write—a little bit every day.
  44. And like any goal broken down into small bite-sized bits, you will reach the destination you set for yourself and most likely find that there is way more where that came from
  45. You may even have another 50k words to say on the topics you have already covered.
  46. You do not need to tell everything in one book. Break up your ideas and think of a specific audience you want to speak to.
  47. Give space to what you share. Allow time for the words to breathe.
  48. After each writing session, whatever you decide it to be, walk away for a bit. Leave a hanging thought of where you want to take your writing next and when you return, pick up from there and keep writing. DO NOT Re-Read what you have written. Do not put on your editor’s hat. That will derail your creativity. They are two separate parts of your brain. Stay in creative mode. And keep writing.
  49. When you reach a point where you feel you have completed a thought as far as you can take it, write for 10 more minutes. This is usually where the magic happens, at least for me. It is after I have coughed up a slurry of green gunk from my brain that I am left with the real nuggets and epiphanies. Do not quit before these miracles happen. When they come you will know.
  50. Congratulate yourself for pushing through all the normal resistance, procrastination, and excuses to complete something you before only dreamed about. You did it! Even if you did not get the full 50k words in 30 days. You likely learned more about what you can do and became acutely aware of the mental obstacles that have proven ted you from accomplishing all that you dream and want to do. Writing is as much about finding ourselves as it is about sharing a story to entertain or inspire others. That makes it so valuable. The world needs to hear your stories, so what are you waiting for? Go fucking write them.

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Affirmations Are Not a Secret

Posted on by under Belief, Belief System

Yet, how many of us don’t believe they work?

“Fake it till you make it.” “Act as if.” “See it. Say it. Believe it. Do it.”

If you have been around the block a few times, you undoubtedly have heard these phrases or ones like them. But hearing them is not the same as using them and BELIEVING them.

It takes practice and willingness to fail and pick the stickers off our cheap thrift store suit

Belief is a fickle beast. It takes practice and willingness to fail and pick the stickers off our cheap thrift store suit as I did before I staggered into my first AA meeting in July of 1986. But it did. And I showed up, even though I didn’t know what to believe or if I even wanted to stop. All I knew was that if I didn’t change something I would probably die before I reached my 23rd birthday.

Long story short, I tried to believe I could stop on my own and tried desperately for the next three months before finally giving up for good.

We want a shortcut to success. Guess what? There isn’t one. So STOP LOOKING FOR IT!

What’s the point? The point is that we all have dreams and goals and problems that we want to accomplish or resolve but most of us either don’t know where to start or even if we do, don’t believe that we are worthy. That we can accomplish something. Worse, most of us want instant gratification. The path of least resistance. We want a shortcut to success. Guess what? There isn’t one. So STOP LOOKING FOR IT!

One of the simplest and easiest spots to change the trajectory of your life is to start a daily practice of gratitude, prayer, and meditation. Why? Because so many of us are externally motivated and driven by ego that we want what we want when we want it but really don’t have any meaningful reason why other than it will make us feel like we are worthy.

True success is way more than that. Lasting success is built one painful mistake at a time. One failure. One risk, one misstep, one adjustment. One goal, one bold step forward. Prayer, meditation, and gratitude help you focus on what really matters. The internal change of who you become that is lasting and way more significant than earning another 12k per year.

Being grateful for what you have frees up your mental space to receive more of what the universe has to offer you. The same is true for prayer and meditation as well as writing affirmations.

Prayer and meditation help you focus on what really matters. Affirmations are present positive statements that reinforce and create a mental shift in your belief system from I can’t to I can.

for affirmations to work you have to trust in forces unseen…you must believe them to be true.

But for affirmations to work you have to trust in forces unseen, yourself, and be bold enough to take action rather than just write them down and say them. Lastly, you must believe them to be true.

This takes practice. Lots. It takes discipline and daily repetition of stating that which you want as if you already have it day in and day out. As you do so it shall be.

It’s inexplicable but when you shift your thinking to what can be opportunities miraculously and inexplicably begin to manifest themselves in your lives. I have experienced this for more than 40 years ever since I first discovered the incredible power of affirmations.

Here is my current one:

It feels great to have written enough good stuff for 100 people to follow me on Medium

It feels great to have written enough good stuff for 100 people to follow me on Medium so I can start to earn some money. More importantly, though I have wisdom and knowledge that I want to share with others than can help them live better lives and that’s why I write.

Yes, I want to make a few more bucks but really I look forward to the day when I can say, wow in 2022 I wanted 100 followers, now five years later I have 10,000+. I am living proof this affirmation stuff really works.

Note: in July I had 17 followers. Since writing this affirmation in July, I am now at 83 + and believe that I will hit 100 by the end of September if not sooner.

Take a chance on yourself. Believe in yourself. You are worth it.

Shawn Langwell is a highly respected leader, author, and speaker. He is a recovered alcoholic with 35+ years of continuous sobriety who writes and talks on a variety of topics and is available to address any audience, anywhere on the topics of recovery, business strategy, or goal setting.

Find him at shawnlangwell.com.

Photo by Ivan Dostál on Unsplash



Posted on by under Belief, Courage, Inspiration, Mindset, Overcoming worry, Personal Growth, Self-Confidence

Fact: 85% of Us Suffer From Low Self-Esteem

Several studies indicate that 85% of Americans suffer from low self-esteem. That’s a huge problem. Unless you are part of the top 15% of self-actualized individuals living in a perpetual state of bliss, enlightenment, or Nirvana, there is a high probability that you, like me, suffer from occasional bouts of low self-worth or have your confidence shaken from time to time. Our confidence and self-esteem problems will not go away on their own. To successfully combat our low self-esteem, we have to not only get honest about what our problems are but may need counsel to guide us through the gnarled mess in our minds.

A Simple Science-Based and Empirically-Tested Solution for Improving our Self-Esteem

While there are many solutions for overcoming low self-esteem, one is closer than you think. Both the problem and solution can be found in one word—belief. According to Stephen Campbell and other neuroscientists, the inner critics in our heads lack discernment between fact or fiction. The brain, according to Campbell, “…believes EVERYTHING we tell it, without question, no arguments.”

This is important to understand because it validates the tired cliché, “Garbage in. Garbage out.”

Unfortunately, many of our beliefs are false. They are lies we’ve held for years, perhaps initiated by criticism from parents, bosses, teachers, or other life influences. Because our brains don’t know what to believe, the critical voices are reinforced by our negative self-talk, especially in areas related to our self-esteem and self-confidence.

This is not healthy. To the extent that we give them power over our lives, the critics in our minds are toxic.

I explore this further in the chapter about belief in my upcoming release of Ten Seconds of Boldness, The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence.

For now, here’s some great news:

You can change if you somehow find enough courage to do so.

You may be thinking, That’s great. Tell me something I don’t already know.

How do I find courage? Good question, but a better question we must ask ourselves is why?

What does that mean and how is it related to self-confidence? It means everything.

It’s no secret that when we not only change the way we think but what we choose to believe, our world changes. Our perspective shifts as we replace outdated beliefs about ourselves with new ones.

And, according to neuroscience, everything we believe is tied to patterns we have created in our minds, to what we chose to believe.

Neuroscience expert Steven Campbell explains further:

One of the most exciting discoveries in the neurosciences is how our brain is continually creating patterns, based on what we learn during the day. It creates these patterns at night when we are asleep. And the number of patterns it creates is beyond imagination.

The latest research estimates that our brain has about eighty-three billion neurons, and each of these neurons are connected to an average of 10,000 neurons. That’s not a multiple; that’s a power! In other words, the connections, which determine the number of patterns the human brain can carry is eighty-three billion times eighty-three million, 10,000 times. It is no wonder that the scientific community agrees that the human brain is the most complex organism in the universe.

While the brain is incredibly complex, when it comes to learning new things, simple is always better. The problem, as Stephen points out, is that our brain never sleeps; it doesn’t know what is helpful or detrimental to your self-esteem. As a result, the thoughts and feelings we have throughout the day, good or bad, are on a perpetual quest to connect to similar thoughts, beliefs, or feelings in our brain. This further reinforces existing beliefs, good or bad, thereby creating patterns that will continue until challenged.

In my case, low self-esteem and self-confidence have manifested themselves in a myriad of negative thought patterns, beliefs, or emotions in my life. Here are a few examples, which are variations of thinking and behavior rooted in fear:

  • Jealousy
  • Resentment
  • Anger
  • Pride
  • Ego
  • Blame
  • Guilt
  • Shame
  • Micro-Management
  • Control
  • Fear of Failure
  • Fear of Making a Mistake
  • Fear of Being Wrong
  • Fear of the Unknown
  • Fear of Rejection
  • Fear of Abandonment
  • Fear of Public Speaking
  • Fear of Confrontation
  • Fear of Success
  • Fear of Death
  • Fear of Missing Out (FOMO)

If you relate to any of these fears, I encourage you to read Ten Seconds of Boldness. It could be the missing link to moving you from where you are to where you want to be.

Learn more at shawnlangwell.com

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Posted on by under Calling, Career, Courage, Goals, Purpose, Self-Confidence

This is a question we have all contemplated at some point in our lives. Perhaps, we still do. What do we do to “figure it out?” Who do we ask for help? I recall a conversation I had with my stepfather years ago.

It was a cool spring day, in April. My stepfather David and I sat outside on the deck of his hillside home in West Marin beneath old oaks and towering pines, talking about my future.

I don’t recall how the conversation started, but I do remember feeling my heart thump in my chest because at that point, I felt as if I should know what career to pursue but had no real clue. I had never even written a resume.

I was lost.

“Congratulations!” he started. “You’re graduating and you’re going to get married. That’s terrific! Now what do you think you want to be when you grow up? What kind of job do you want?” Immediately I felt my gut tighten and stammered a feeble reply. “I don’t know, that’s why I am here.” He continued trying to get me to open up, to say what I wanted. I grew frustrated because he wasn’t telling me what I should do. Instead, he was trying to guide me to figure it out for myself.

David, perhaps sensing my trepidation, told me something I will never forget. He said, “You are one of the most courageous people I know.”

Surprised, I leaned back in my chair. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“You not only found the courage to stop drinking at a young age, but you have the grit and determination to finish school and start a family at the same time. That takes guts.” For the next hour or so, I asked him more relevant questions to zero in on what I might or might not like in a career. He also assured me that no career decisions are final. That it is perfectly normal and acceptable, even advantageous, for people to change jobs. He added, “Most people work for six or seven different employers in their lifetimes.” With his coaching, I decided to pursue a career in media sales. Next, he helped me come up with a game plan.

That meeting took place nearly thirty years ago. I have used those lessons numerous times since. In fact, I can hear David’s deep powerful encouraging voice in my head as I continue to grapple with my own lack of confidence as an author: “It sounds to me like you already know what you want to write about. I say, go for it!”

The above is an excerpt from my latest book, Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence which releases on August 1st.

Over the next two weeks, I will share confidence-building insights gleaned from several impactful conversations I’ve had with influential leaders included in the book. In particular, Kevin Miller (“serial entrepreneur”, podcaster, and host of the popular Ziglar show with over 250 Million downloads worldwide), Steve Lavin, Collegiate Basketball Coach and broadcaster, and Aaron Locks, CEO and Founder of National Academy of Athletics who has helped more than 300k kids in 131 cities across the United States become more confident and learn to live by his motto, “Play Hard – Have Fun.”

I look forward to getting to connect with you and hope that what I share will strike a chord and inspire you to find your own Ten Seconds of Boldness to pursue the life you want to live.

You can find me at shawnlangwell.com

Seven Tips for Improving Our Self-Image and Building Self-Confidence:

Posted on by under Inspiration, Personal Growth, Self-Confidence

“All you need to succeed is a willingness to face the unknown and apply the principles of Ten Seconds of Boldness, and enough courage to make a decision and take the first step.” – Shawn Langwell

  1. There are no shortcuts to self-confidence or success. All worthwhile achievement in life is a direct result of having a dream or a vision that requires learning, practicing, and developing the habits necessary to be, have, or do that which you desire. At its core, confidence and success must start with you. Nobody else can determine your dreams or goals. No amount of external motivation will fire you up long enough to help you develop the confidence necessary to feel a meaningful sense of belonging, purpose, and accomplishment.
  2. It’s normal to suffer occasional blows to our confidence. We all do— even star athletes or celebrities. So why then is confidence so hard to build, develop, and maintain? Can it be that we feel the need always to be at the top of our game? That we are so afraid of failing that we don’t ever really try. Or is it more like the song, “Looking for love in all the wrong places”? Are we trying too hard to find confidence in things outside ourselves?
  3. Confidence is not some magic potion. It is built and developed over time, through countless hours of practice and repetition.
  4. Confidence is an experience of being fully present, and at peace with who you are, where you are, now.
  5. Confidence is acceptance of things as they are‑—“It is what it is”— and believing that if you don’t like that, you have the power to respond and react differently.
  6. Building self-confidence is a perpetual quest; it is found in the process of discovering who you really are and who you want to become.
  7. Life is a lot more fun with confidence. When I think of confidence, I think of Stephen Curry. He is, in my opinion, a penultimate superstar. Because of hard work, lots of practice, mental and physical conditioning, creativity, and his willingness to take risks, he dazzles fans around the world with his ball-handling and shooting mastery playing the game he loves—basketball. He exudes fun, joy, humility, and a sense of teamwork that, to me, is the epitome of confidence. But even Steph has off nights. Don’t we all?

If you’d like to learn more, check out my forthcoming book, Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence. Sign up for early release notification and other helpful tips here: www.shawnlangwell.com

Jump!

Posted on by under Confidence, Courage, Goals, Self-Confidence

“What’s important is that you make the leap. Jump high and hard with intention and heart.” – Cheryl Strayed

The following is an excerpt from Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence publishing August 1, 2022.

Did you know that the African impala can jump ten feet high and cover ten yards? Yet this magnificent animal can be confined within walls only three feet high. Why? Because unless it first sees where it’s going to land, it’s too afraid to jump.

We aren’t much different.

Many have said the only way to face challenges is head-on. To go through them. Avoiding them or denying they exist, is not a viable solution. In fact, avoidance is part of the problem. To build self-confidence and become more productive, we must identify the mental blocks and fears that we let prevent us from the lives we want, but we must also find something greater than the fear that tethers us to mediocrity and feeling less than. That one thing is courage.

Where do you find courage?

The simple answer is by developing a habit and mindset I call Ten Seconds of Boldness. This is the key to unlock the door to solving problems and building self-confidence. It is where we discover our true value to ourselves and the world. It is how grit, guts, and determination to persevere are established, developed, and mastered. How you find it is a personal matter. But without boldness or courage, you will never advance beyond where you are now.

Boldness is the catalyst to move one step closer to our dreams despite our fears: where the willingness to take a chance on ourselves is borne. And it is by doing, not just thinking, that we move closer to success. As a result of courageous action, we become more productive, happy, and prosperous.

The only thing between who you are now and who you want to be or what you want to have or do is finding the guts to practice Ten Seconds of Boldness.

Keep it Simple

My goal is to help you get to know yourself so well that personal growth and confidence become a habitual response to your life experience.  That living a bold and courageous life becomes an end unto itself. That is the goal, the process of becoming.

I am a firm believer in simplicity. Simple doesn’t mean easy. But therein lies the challenge; we are complex individuals who tend to overthink things and spend way more time thinking than doing. Worse, most of what we think about is negative. Negativity will not help you gain confidence but find the courage within to step forward into the unknown while simultaneously letting go of any preconceived fears will.

The moment you stop holding back the right doors will open. The people and resources to help you will serendipitously appear.

If you would like to be one of the first 100 to receive a FREE PDF of Ten Seconds of Boldness, click the button below to sign up.

Free PDF

Shawn Langwell is the President of California Writers Club, Redwood Writers, past president of Toastmasters of Petaluma, an author, international speaker, and top producing media salesperson. He is the author of the memoir Beyond Recovery: A Journey of Grace, Love, and Forgiveness. This summer he will release Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence.
You can find Shawn at http://www.shawnlangwell.com

 

Feed your dreams, not your fears

Posted on by under Commitment, Courage, Family, Goals, Hiking, Inspiration, introspection, Nature

My step father once said,
“What are the dots in your life?”
As in, I did x dot, dot, dot then y dot, dot, dot.

I didn’t fully grasp it at the time but now it’s a little more clear.

What he was saying is to pay attention to the pauses in life—the thoughts, moments of mediation, reflection and of being not doing. Sage advice. Thank you, Dave O’Connor!

As he and my mom age I am reminded how very short this life we have is.

In November last year, my mother took her second big fall. This time she was partially paralyzed and forced to recoup in nursing home for five weeks. Meanwhile, her ninety-year-old husband of twenty-eight years and my stepfather was battling age related memory loss and required a caregiver to assist with meals and meds. To top it off his son attempted to assert control over David’s health and finances. It was a nightmare, but we survived.

My wife graciously cared for my mom for six weeks after she was released from the nursing home and eventually moved in with us for four months. When the six weeks leave of absence for my wife was up, my work was generous enough to allow me to work from home, so I could care for her until we were able to sell their house and find a new place for them.

For four months, I was not able to break free to recharge. I was unable to make time to feed my soul. I desperately needed to hike the coast, to be in nature, to reconnect with my spirit. I needed to pay heed to the other dots in my life. Once their house closed escrow and we got them all settled in one of the first things I did was take a long hike along the West Marin Coast.

Even though I battled fears my mom would never be able to live on her own again, I trusted everything would work out the way it was supposed to. Fortunately, it did.

In hindsight, everything happened exactly as it was supposed to. My mom and Dave are now in a place in Petaluma where they can maintain their independence while having meals and cleaning services provided.

Though I did the right thing, those few months sapped my soul to the core. Now, I make it a point to carve out time for me to rekindle my inner spirit. To dream again. This year has been a challenge but despite it all me and our family have been blessed beyond measure. I don’t take anything for granted and am even more intentional about investing my time on the important things.

The past three years my wife has chosen a word as a focal point for something she wanted to work on that year.  It worked. Last year I watched her whole life transform as she lived out her word, confidence. My word for 2018 was focus. I have accomplished virtually everything I set out for myself and more. When it is all said and done, my relationships are stronger, my faith has grown immeasurably, I joined Toastmasters and even pushed myself to go back to school.

I am feeling pulled to grow even more in the year ahead and that is both frightening and exciting. I know in my soul that I need to dream bigger. So big, in fact, that I must rely on the divine forces of the universe to do for me what I cannot do for myself. I am growing to trust my higher power even more. From a logical standpoint, there is really no reason to live in fear or doubt. I could list hundreds of experiences where I was given exactly what I needed, despite any of my best laid plans.

2019 will be a milestone year. The events and blessings to come from faith, effort and my willingness to grow will set the course for the rest of my life. The dots will be many. I will walk through every moment of fear with a quiet certitude that there is a plan for me and my only job is to seek and trust that inner voice which guides me— my responsibility is to put one foot in front of the other and march forward into the vast unknown. In so doing, my prayer is that the dreams I live and achieve will ignite many others to aspire to whatever change they seek.

I am more determined than ever. This year, my word is commitment.