Tag Archives: Self-Confidence

No More Regrets

Posted on by under Courage, Inner Strength, Letting Go

The Cathartic Power of Letting Go

I don’t know about you but I don’t want to die with regrets.

In fact, my drive to thrive and live life as fully as possible, liberated from the shackles of my past, is so powerful that it can be scary.

Why?

For many reasons, but nearly all include this inner pull to let go of my past so I can be more fully alive in the present.

I have come too far ever to want to revisit old beliefs, habits, deep-seated fear, anger, resentment, and other debilitating ways of thinking and acting that I know only bring pain. For years they were the source of anguish that I held onto and used as an excuse for why I nearly drank myself to death before getting sober at 22.

Escape with drugs and alcohol was a solution. So were sex, gambling, shopping, and overachievement, until they weren’t.

When I made the decision to get sober I was left with a gaping hole and needed to fill it with something healthy, something loving and kind. Something that would extend my life. Something that would help me heal from the inside out. That something was a spiritual awakening.

Any friends of Bill W. know what I mean. Others with a strong sense of spiritual understanding may as well.

Nearly as scary as a life trapped in a downward spiral of negativity and emotion or addiction and fear is a greater tragedy—a silent killer of our soul—that permeates the body, mind, and spirit of countless millions. That silent, soul-sucking “disease” is regret.

That silent, soul-sucking “disease” is regret.

We all live with a certain amount of regret but if we want to fully become alive, we must learn to let that shot go and embrace the messiness of life and make the most of the cards we’ve been dealt.

Yesterday I had the privilege to participate in an author launch with 19 other authors from the Redwood Writers Club. Each author had five minutes to read a sample of their work.

So many authors were powerful and poignant, sharing heartfelt poems, a memoir of life in the sixties, second-chance romance, children’s books, and so much more. As I listened I thought, how wonderful it is that so many creative souls are brave enough to not only share stories but share them in public. To follow their passion and realize their own dreams of being published authors.

each author who spoke epitomized what it means to be brave and not regret the fact that they wish they would have written a book, or whatever.

How awesome is that? For a few hours, I got to witness firsthand the power of dreams fulfilled and lives lived, at least for those five minutes, without regret. Of conquering any fear of public speaking and being vulnerable enough to tell their stories in public. To me, each author who spoke epitomized what it means to be brave and not regret the fact that they wish they would have written a book, or whatever.

Because of the energy and feedback I got from my short talk, I feel compelled to share my own notes verbatim from my latest book, Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence.

I share them because of the impact they had on those brave enough to approach me at the break and share what these words meant to them and why they wanted to buy my book.

For instance, an 80-year-old man named Gary was vulnerable enough to share with me the challenges he had with his estranged daughter of forty years. And though he forgave his own father and himself as best he could ( he didn’t say why and I chose not to ask in public), he was now grappling with how to repair the broken relationship with his daughter. He even asked for my number so we could talk more about it later. I happily obliged.

I don’t share this to brag. I share this because this is the power each and every one of us holds with our life experiences—good, bad, and indifferent. The point is none of us know who we can reach until we are vulnerable enough to talk about our truth and brave enough to let go of most of that crap from our past.

Every single human on the face of this glorious planet has the unique ability to reach others in a way that is purposeful, meaningful, and lasting. We also have the ability to let go of all the pain and anger of our past and to write or tell a new story for the remaining days of our lives. We get to choose.

The story we tell may be a tragedy or it may be a love story or a little bit of both. It will be whatever we decide and choose it to be.

My hope and prayer for the handful of folks that read this are that you do not allow your past to continue to hold you back from the possibility of a better today and tomorrow. That you find the courage within to let go of that bag of crap you’ve been dragging around far too long and instead become courageous enough to write a happy ending to a life lived with no more regrets.

Here are my notes verbatim. I hope you find what you’re looking for and become brave enough to take a chance on yourself.

Author Launch 2/18/23

Ten Seconds of Boldness:

The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence

Open strong:

I wrote this book because I don’t want to die with regrets. (HOLD IT UP!)

Regret for all the things I wish I would have done but never truly believed I could. Regret that I believed the lies of my inner critics, who incessantly questioned my credibility because I don’t have three or four letters after my name. That decades of experience overcoming challenges of all kinds did not qualify me to discuss the value of courage and confidence. Regret that I was so afraid of failing that I never found the courage to try.

– From Why This Book, Now? Page xxi

I wrote this book because I don’t want to die with regrets.

Middle:

– Now, here’s an excerpt from pages 79–82…

Chapter Six
Bridging the Confidence Gap

“It’s not what you think you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not.”- Dennis Waitley

For Father’s Day in 2021, my son treated me to a zipline tour. For two and a half hours we traversed the treetops across seven ziplines and two sky bridges. The only things that separated us from the forest floor two hundred and fifty feet below were a harness with pulleys, a 3/8” cable, and the courage to let go.

It was the most exhilarating and memorable Father’s Day ever!

Though I was anxious on the first two zips, I relaxed by the third. I found my legs, so to speak. Until we approached a hundred-foot-long, wobbly sky bridge made of ropes and planks. I stared at it, then at the ground. My knees began to shake. Unlike the ziplines which meant harnessing up and letting go to enjoy the ride, to continue our adventure meant I had to put one foot in front of the other and cross that rickety bridge seventy-five feet above the hard ground below. I watched as others crossed first and realized it wasn’t impossible. I grabbed the rope rails, and after finding my balance, found it was not as scary as I thought. I took a few steps then skipped the rest of the way across.

When I got to the other side, My son asked, “What was that all about Dad?”

“I decided to have fun ’cause I knew it was safe.”

Conclusion:

Your Confidence Gap is Not as Big as You May Think

The bridge between where you are and where you want to be is shorter than you think. In fact, for most people, it’s only six to seven inches: the average space between your two ears.

The goal of this chapter is to inspire you to take the next step forward. To help you bridge your confidence gap.

When I have too many projects, goals, and to-dos going on at the same time I can easily get scattered and lose focus. They all seem important, but whenever I look at them all at once, I get overwhelmed. It’s like an overstuffed garage or closet, or a home office with disorganized drawers, boxes of notes, and yes, even file drawers bursting with old utility bills, notebooks, etc.

Eventually, the clutter of my environment and my mind becomes so great that I feel ineffective. To regain focus, I take time to organize and declutter.

When I finally decide to tackle big projects, organizing or otherwise, I do it one drawer, one closet, and one room at a time. I focus on making progress in one area before moving on to the next.

… I don’t obsess over results. I strive to maintain a healthy balance between work and relaxation, remembering to also take time out to celebrate my accomplishments, small or large…

This process has become a set routine or habit. Just like making my bed in the morning.

Prompt #1: Make Your Bed and Take Out the Trash

It’s important to pay attention to unresolved problems or unfulfilled ambitions you have and how you typically respond to them. Watch for:

• Procrastination

• Denial

• Blame

• Avoidance

• Shame

• Guilt

• Fear

Choose one area, skill, attitude, or belief, that’s been bugging you or that you’ve been procrastinating over and make a decision to do something about it as soon as you finish this chapter.

Be bold. Practice the five steps. Decide, commit, and let it go, now.

It can be anything. Making your bed. Taking out the trash. Starting a load of laundry. Anything. The key is not to just think about it, but to actually do it. Decide what it is, then make a plan, write it down, set a date, and get started. That’s how it’s done.

As you apply the skills you learn in the book, it will become readily apparent how easy it is to transfer them to other areas essentially building your confidence one closet or room at a time. The cure to overcoming any and all of the above is: Be bold. Practice the five steps. Decide, commit, and let it go, now.

Invitation:

I have an exclusive offer for those who purchase Ten Seconds of Boldness today that you won’t want to miss—

Sign up for my newsletter and send me an email with a picture of the book and I will send you the edited, unmastered audio file of Chapter Six of the audiobook of TSB (to come out this summer), for free!

Visit shawnlangwell.com and sign up for my email list.

I don’t sell your name and only use it to send any latest musings, advice, or life lessons. If you need more encouragement, shoot me a message: at shawnlangwellwriter@gmail.com.

If you want to learn more about letting go including how to silence your inner critics, overcome procrastination, get over writer’s block, or increase your self-confidence, you should buy and read my latest book, Ten Seconds of Boldness. It will change your life if you are willing to change.

Photo by Irish83 on Unsplash

50 Tips on How to Write a Book in 30 Days or Less

Posted on by under Writing Tips

Anyone can write 50,000 words in one month and I’ll show you how.

Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

Tips and tricks I learned from National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo):

  1. Like any goal break it down into smaller milestones. For this project take 50,000 and divide it by thirty. That equates to 1,666 words a day. That’s how I have done this four times. At first, it seemed utterly impossible. It is for many because they believe they can’t do it.
  2. As with any goal, when you break it down into bite-sized pieces it is easier. Literally, break it down into something you believe you can do.
  3. Stay above the line. Meaning there will be days when you don’t write. That’s OK. Just write more the next day to keep your average above 1,666 words per day—above the line.
  4. Goals are merely benchmarks to remind you where you are in relation to where you want to be. They are not a destination. They are measures. Innocuous. They do not define your worth.
  5. Work with what you have. How many words do you speak in a day? Research says that on average we speak about 7,000 words in a day. We hear 20,000–30,000. We think about 6,000 thoughts in a day. So volume is not the problem.
  6. Belief and organization is the problem. So are a slew of other excuses.
  7. Writing is s function of slowing down long enough to hear, and capture some of these 6,000 thoughts, or extending what we say throughout the day into a recording device or through writing to see where this conversation we have in our head leads.
  8. It’s not necessary to know where it’s going or to even have a clear destination in mind as we begin
  9. The most important thing to writing 50,000 words in a month is to get started.
  10. Capture 200-300 words into bite-sized thoughts. Don’t worry about connecting the dots or editing, just write them down.
  11. Keep writing. You will likely find that writing 200–300 words is not that difficult at all.
  12. If you don’t want to type speak them into a note app and then copy and paste them into a word document. Before you know it you will reach 200–300 words faster than you can imagine. How can I say this so confidently? Because the average person speaks at a rate of around 140 words per minute. Expert typists can reach speeds of 65- 95 words per minute. On average 40 wpm is really good.
  13. So how long would it take you to speak 200–300 words into a recorder? Two minutes, maybe three. Some people may be able to do that in 1–2 breaths.
  14. So the word count is not the problem. Your mindset is. Your need for perfection for being right is the problem. Your lack of confidence to believe that you actually have something of value that others may find helpful or interesting is the problem.
  15. How do you overcome that? I’ll give you one guess—Write. Speak. Copy. Paste.
  16. Keep at it. Let go of your attachment to clarity, punctuation, and perfectionism. Just barf all that shit up on a page and keep going. When you hit 300 words, write some more. Keep writing until you have exhausted all the thoughts feelings perceptions and attitudes you can think of for that particular train of thought then take a break.
  17. Go for a walk. Bring your recorder with you. Why? Because you will likely find more information or new inspirations.
  18. Pay attention to all the details around you. The smell of fresh-cut grass. The way the trees sway in the autumn breeze. See how the maples stand like paint brushes loaded with crimson, vermillion, or cadmium red how bright they stand against clouds of titanium white and the cerulean sky.
  19. Listen to the quail chick scraping for bugs, skittering behind their mother beneath the blackberry bush.
  20. Hear the crows yakking away on garage day scoping out the best unprotected overflowing garbage cans for easy snacks.
  21. Smell the dirty diapers in the gray refuse bin as you meander along your neighborhood street.
  22. Feel the nippiness on your ears and nose as a chilly gust ruffles the falling leaves sending them scratching along the pavement.
  23. Take it all in in a giant deep breath. Feel your chest expand and exhale the stress you have felt from trying to do too much. From trying to be all that you think others want you to be. At this moment just be present/ alive. Feel grateful for all your senses and the air that fills your lungs and the thoughts of being alone fully present to experience these ordinary but magical moments and capture them in your mind. In your recorder. And write about them.
  24. That is all writing is—paying attention to your five senses and seeing where they lead, then memorializing them as a photograph to remind you of a moment in time. And to invite others into that moment so they can relive it as you did. That’s it.
  25. Now with the recorder in hand, dictate all you have just heard observed, and felt, and when you get back to your desk open up your word doc and begin to copy and paste.
  26. Copy and paste.
  27. When you are done highlighting all that you have just put down in a brief stroll you will likely be amazed that you have more than 2500 words.
  28. Many thoughts will become seeds of future stories. You do not need to decide what to do with them at this moment but if you feel inspired take one and plant it. Water it. Watch it grow and see what it becomes.
  29. Remember to pay attention. No book will ever be completed without first collecting seeds. They will not grow into a story or book unless you invest the time to nurture them. So collect. Capture. And write.
  30. Go with the flow. You do not get to choose what it becomes your job is to gather the essence and present it in a way that makes some sense. You trust the direction your inner muse wants to take you. To take the story to those it may touch.
  31. The rest is not up to you. That is for the universe to decide. Your job is to be the pen and the paper to record and create. Record what comes through you. What you see. Hear. Feel. Turn your experience into something that has more powerful before the moment slips away.
  32. You will find as you practice this that one idea or thought or phrase can become seeds for many other ideas.
  33. On some occasions, you may want to brainstorm what those are. Then pick the one, two, or three that seem to matter to you at that moment in time and go with them think of writing as a treasure hunt. You are collecting pieces for something important even though you don’t know what that is, yet.
  34. That takes the pressure off it. It allows for your creativity and the inner muse or spirit to flow through you. Think of this process as Ex-lax for writer’s block and a tonic for your writer’s soul.
  35. The more you do this you will soon find that it can become an obsession. Your mind gets on a path like a runaway locomotive gathering momentum. You write till your wrist cramps and your fingers bleed and when the thoughts keep chugging along you grab your recorder and speak them until you have nothing left/ Then you pause and take another break. Perhaps for the day.
  36. But before you do you look quickly to see how far you have come. 4,000 words and it seemed effortless!
  37. Put this experience into a folder called “confidence bank”.
  38. Save this and many other moments of accomplishment to review on those days when you feel stuck, depressed, or an imposter.
  39. Read them for inspiration. They are your accomplishments, things you did when you find think you could. Cherish them. Know that you can do this anytime you decide to.
  40. Know too that you can stop when you want to.Gove yourself permission to pause.
  41. The point is to let go of your attachment to performance to achievement to need something to be fully thought out, clear and concise. Write a shitty first draft. Puke all over the page. Then clean it up later.
  42. As Mark Manson would say you need to learn the subtle art of not giving a fuck.
  43. Just fucking write—a little bit every day.
  44. And like any goal broken down into small bite-sized bits, you will reach the destination you set for yourself and most likely find that there is way more where that came from
  45. You may even have another 50k words to say on the topics you have already covered.
  46. You do not need to tell everything in one book. Break up your ideas and think of a specific audience you want to speak to.
  47. Give space to what you share. Allow time for the words to breathe.
  48. After each writing session, whatever you decide it to be, walk away for a bit. Leave a hanging thought of where you want to take your writing next and when you return, pick up from there and keep writing. DO NOT Re-Read what you have written. Do not put on your editor’s hat. That will derail your creativity. They are two separate parts of your brain. Stay in creative mode. And keep writing.
  49. When you reach a point where you feel you have completed a thought as far as you can take it, write for 10 more minutes. This is usually where the magic happens, at least for me. It is after I have coughed up a slurry of green gunk from my brain that I am left with the real nuggets and epiphanies. Do not quit before these miracles happen. When they come you will know.
  50. Congratulate yourself for pushing through all the normal resistance, procrastination, and excuses to complete something you before only dreamed about. You did it! Even if you did not get the full 50k words in 30 days. You likely learned more about what you can do and became acutely aware of the mental obstacles that have proven ted you from accomplishing all that you dream and want to do. Writing is as much about finding ourselves as it is about sharing a story to entertain or inspire others. That makes it so valuable. The world needs to hear your stories, so what are you waiting for? Go fucking write them.

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If you found this entertaining or helpful and want to read more of my articles, and stories follow me here or sign up for my email list to get all my latest musings, advice, or life lessons.

What Do You Want to Be When You Grow Up?

Posted on by under Calling, Career, Courage, Goals, Purpose, Self-Confidence

This is a question we have all contemplated at some point in our lives. Perhaps, we still do. What do we do to “figure it out?” Who do we ask for help? I recall a conversation I had with my stepfather years ago.

It was a cool spring day, in April. My stepfather David and I sat outside on the deck of his hillside home in West Marin beneath old oaks and towering pines, talking about my future.

I don’t recall how the conversation started, but I do remember feeling my heart thump in my chest because at that point, I felt as if I should know what career to pursue but had no real clue. I had never even written a resume.

I was lost.

“Congratulations!” he started. “You’re graduating and you’re going to get married. That’s terrific! Now what do you think you want to be when you grow up? What kind of job do you want?” Immediately I felt my gut tighten and stammered a feeble reply. “I don’t know, that’s why I am here.” He continued trying to get me to open up, to say what I wanted. I grew frustrated because he wasn’t telling me what I should do. Instead, he was trying to guide me to figure it out for myself.

David, perhaps sensing my trepidation, told me something I will never forget. He said, “You are one of the most courageous people I know.”

Surprised, I leaned back in my chair. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“You not only found the courage to stop drinking at a young age, but you have the grit and determination to finish school and start a family at the same time. That takes guts.” For the next hour or so, I asked him more relevant questions to zero in on what I might or might not like in a career. He also assured me that no career decisions are final. That it is perfectly normal and acceptable, even advantageous, for people to change jobs. He added, “Most people work for six or seven different employers in their lifetimes.” With his coaching, I decided to pursue a career in media sales. Next, he helped me come up with a game plan.

That meeting took place nearly thirty years ago. I have used those lessons numerous times since. In fact, I can hear David’s deep powerful encouraging voice in my head as I continue to grapple with my own lack of confidence as an author: “It sounds to me like you already know what you want to write about. I say, go for it!”

The above is an excerpt from my latest book, Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence which releases on August 1st.

Over the next two weeks, I will share confidence-building insights gleaned from several impactful conversations I’ve had with influential leaders included in the book. In particular, Kevin Miller (“serial entrepreneur”, podcaster, and host of the popular Ziglar show with over 250 Million downloads worldwide), Steve Lavin, Collegiate Basketball Coach and broadcaster, and Aaron Locks, CEO and Founder of National Academy of Athletics who has helped more than 300k kids in 131 cities across the United States become more confident and learn to live by his motto, “Play Hard – Have Fun.”

I look forward to getting to connect with you and hope that what I share will strike a chord and inspire you to find your own Ten Seconds of Boldness to pursue the life you want to live.

You can find me at shawnlangwell.com

Seven Tips for Improving Our Self-Image and Building Self-Confidence:

Posted on by under Inspiration, Personal Growth, Self-Confidence

“All you need to succeed is a willingness to face the unknown and apply the principles of Ten Seconds of Boldness, and enough courage to make a decision and take the first step.” – Shawn Langwell

  1. There are no shortcuts to self-confidence or success. All worthwhile achievement in life is a direct result of having a dream or a vision that requires learning, practicing, and developing the habits necessary to be, have, or do that which you desire. At its core, confidence and success must start with you. Nobody else can determine your dreams or goals. No amount of external motivation will fire you up long enough to help you develop the confidence necessary to feel a meaningful sense of belonging, purpose, and accomplishment.
  2. It’s normal to suffer occasional blows to our confidence. We all do— even star athletes or celebrities. So why then is confidence so hard to build, develop, and maintain? Can it be that we feel the need always to be at the top of our game? That we are so afraid of failing that we don’t ever really try. Or is it more like the song, “Looking for love in all the wrong places”? Are we trying too hard to find confidence in things outside ourselves?
  3. Confidence is not some magic potion. It is built and developed over time, through countless hours of practice and repetition.
  4. Confidence is an experience of being fully present, and at peace with who you are, where you are, now.
  5. Confidence is acceptance of things as they are‑—“It is what it is”— and believing that if you don’t like that, you have the power to respond and react differently.
  6. Building self-confidence is a perpetual quest; it is found in the process of discovering who you really are and who you want to become.
  7. Life is a lot more fun with confidence. When I think of confidence, I think of Stephen Curry. He is, in my opinion, a penultimate superstar. Because of hard work, lots of practice, mental and physical conditioning, creativity, and his willingness to take risks, he dazzles fans around the world with his ball-handling and shooting mastery playing the game he loves—basketball. He exudes fun, joy, humility, and a sense of teamwork that, to me, is the epitome of confidence. But even Steph has off nights. Don’t we all?

If you’d like to learn more, check out my forthcoming book, Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence. Sign up for early release notification and other helpful tips here: www.shawnlangwell.com

Jump!

Posted on by under Confidence, Courage, Goals, Self-Confidence

“What’s important is that you make the leap. Jump high and hard with intention and heart.” – Cheryl Strayed

The following is an excerpt from Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence publishing August 1, 2022.

Did you know that the African impala can jump ten feet high and cover ten yards? Yet this magnificent animal can be confined within walls only three feet high. Why? Because unless it first sees where it’s going to land, it’s too afraid to jump.

We aren’t much different.

Many have said the only way to face challenges is head-on. To go through them. Avoiding them or denying they exist, is not a viable solution. In fact, avoidance is part of the problem. To build self-confidence and become more productive, we must identify the mental blocks and fears that we let prevent us from the lives we want, but we must also find something greater than the fear that tethers us to mediocrity and feeling less than. That one thing is courage.

Where do you find courage?

The simple answer is by developing a habit and mindset I call Ten Seconds of Boldness. This is the key to unlock the door to solving problems and building self-confidence. It is where we discover our true value to ourselves and the world. It is how grit, guts, and determination to persevere are established, developed, and mastered. How you find it is a personal matter. But without boldness or courage, you will never advance beyond where you are now.

Boldness is the catalyst to move one step closer to our dreams despite our fears: where the willingness to take a chance on ourselves is borne. And it is by doing, not just thinking, that we move closer to success. As a result of courageous action, we become more productive, happy, and prosperous.

The only thing between who you are now and who you want to be or what you want to have or do is finding the guts to practice Ten Seconds of Boldness.

Keep it Simple

My goal is to help you get to know yourself so well that personal growth and confidence become a habitual response to your life experience.  That living a bold and courageous life becomes an end unto itself. That is the goal, the process of becoming.

I am a firm believer in simplicity. Simple doesn’t mean easy. But therein lies the challenge; we are complex individuals who tend to overthink things and spend way more time thinking than doing. Worse, most of what we think about is negative. Negativity will not help you gain confidence but find the courage within to step forward into the unknown while simultaneously letting go of any preconceived fears will.

The moment you stop holding back the right doors will open. The people and resources to help you will serendipitously appear.

If you would like to be one of the first 100 to receive a FREE PDF of Ten Seconds of Boldness, click the button below to sign up.

Free PDF

Shawn Langwell is the President of California Writers Club, Redwood Writers, past president of Toastmasters of Petaluma, an author, international speaker, and top producing media salesperson. He is the author of the memoir Beyond Recovery: A Journey of Grace, Love, and Forgiveness. This summer he will release Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence.
You can find Shawn at http://www.shawnlangwell.com

 

Denial is Not a Solution

Posted on by under Belief, Belief System, Confidence, Courage, Good enough, Imposter Syndrome, Inadequacy, Inspiration, motivation, Problem Solving, Procrastination, Self-Awareness, self-confdence, Self-Confidence, Self-Doubt, Writers Block

“To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom.”- Socrates

At this time last year, I wrote about my own shortcomings and how excited I was to finally see the light at the end of a long dark tunnel regarding how long it took to write my next book. I talked about lessons and personal struggles—trying to write a book about confidence while in the midst of one of the biggest slumps in my sales career.

I spoke of promise and hope that my book would be done by the end of 2021. Well, guess what? I’m still not done. But I am many steps closer.

Why do I write this, now? Why am ratting myself out? Because I don’t know of any writer, salesperson, or anyone for that matter, who never struggles with motivation, confidence, with procrastination.

As a writer, speaker, and salesperson I get to face my feelings of inadequacy and insecurity on a daily basis, constantly wondering is this “good enough?” or “am I good enough?”

I know I am not alone.

So, what do I do to overcome that faulty belief system in my head?

I “feel the fear and do it anyway.” I practice Ten Seconds of Boldness.

I show up. I put my butt in a chair and write. I do a little bit every day. I don’t dwell in a carnival house of mirrors where my self-image is distorted and warped. Where the mirrors have names like, worry, doubt, fear, insecurity, and my least favorite, the dreaded “imposter.”

In some small way creating the habit to write on a regular basis alleviates the noise in my head. But like the shadow monster in our closet as kids, these insidious beliefs about my value and worth continue to sneak around, especially in the dark. Probably always will. When I feel them lurking, I flip on the lights and see that they were only shadows. Figments of my imagination and faulty belief system.

Sure, it takes more than flipping on the lights to overcome many of our persistent negative habits and feelings that block us from doing our best. Denial is not a solution. That’s why I chose the quote by Socrates. Our progress is predicated on knowing ourselves and being brave enough to walk across the room and flip on the lights when we think there are monsters sneaking about.

But for now, recognizing and admitting the problem exists—monsters are real when we believe them to be— is the first step toward healing. The first step toward becoming a better, more confident writer.

Like anything in life, things get easier with practice. And our confidence grows when we find the courage to feel what we feel and press on anyway.

Now back to finishing my book, even though I don’t want to write right now.

Here’s to you and your success.

If you want to be one of the first to read my next book, “Ten Seconds of Boldness: The Essential Guide to Solving Problems and Building Self-Confidence.” Sign up here.

I will be giving away some planning tools and one signed copy when it’s published.

Find me at: https://shawnlangwell.com/