Dare to Be Great, Dare to Be You.

Thank you for all the new followers and those who’ve been follwing me for more than a year. I haven’t posted in a while and saw that my followers doubled on Medium and realized I needed to offer something to my most loyal followers here.

Spoiler alert: I will be offering a one day class: “Less Or More in 2024: What do you want or need in the new year?” on January 27, and would like to send you a free gift if you are among the first five to register. Stay tuned for registration info.

I’ve started a new Podcast Dare to Be Great, Dare to Be You, and have outlines of several more books I am working on. In the midst of all that I have neglected to stay in touch with you and all my supporters.

As a gift, I am sharing three chapters from my latest book, Today’s the Day.

These are timeless and timely. Timeless, because we all want more. Timely, because this is often the time of year for reflection, goal setting, and planning what we want for the new year or, for some, the next two-five years of our lives.

I hope these three free chapters inspire and encourage you to take a chance on you. To commit to making some bold moves in the new year.

If you are serious about making some improvements next year, look me up: www.shawnlangwell.com. Soon I will be offering more opportunites to help cement your dreams and goals and ways to turn them into a reality.

For now, Happy New Year! Enjoy these three free chapters of Today’s the Day.

Someday I’ll…

When I published my second book, Ten Seconds of Boldness, I had several friends reach out to me and ask how I did it. They had books they wanted to write, too, but didn’t know where to start.

At first, I wondered why they would be reaching out to me. After all, I’d only written two books. My wife has written more than a dozen. Then it occurred to me — I did something they hadn’t yet. I had moved from “Someday, I’ll” to “I’m glad I did,” and now others wanted some tips and encouragement to turn their stories into books.

I’ll admit, it was flattering that they asked, but inside I kind of felt ill equipped to help them. I was by no means an expert. Instead of diving into solutions, I asked them what they wanted to write about. What stories did they want to tell? How far along were they?

It turns out, each had bones of personal stories about their struggles and how they changed. But they had not yet fully outlined or walked through the narrative arcs of beginning middle or end. So, rather than give them all the publishing tips and tricks I’ve learned in the past six years, I offered suggestions based on what I’ve learned so far — the basics of story structure, and of flow and passion, and encouraged them to go finish writing their stories.

Some wanted more. They, like me, wanted a magic bullet to help them go from a book idea to actually publishing one, as soon as possible. Life doesn’t work like that. To turn our “Someday I’ll” dreams into reality requires several things: Willingness to learn, patience, practice, time, and effort.

Intuitively we know this. Yet, most of us are impatient and want results yesterday. One of my “Someday I’ll” dreams is to become a life coach. To make it happen, I have to study, practice, and put in the time.

One of my friends wanted some coaching for writing her story. Long story short, despite not having any formal training, we agreed to meet.

After three hours of asking questions and guiding her to her own discovery, I walked away feeling better about my own ability to coach. I had never formally done it. Yet she said that she got so much out of it. She has yet to continue writing, but the point is that she walked away believing a little more in her ability that she can, and so did I.

For her, “someday” may not be today. But on that rainy day in January, she took one bold step forward and shared intimate details of her life that she had never shared before. What a privilege to hear her story! I had known her all through high school, but never really knew her until we sat down to talk about her “someday.”

The point is, we all have hundreds of dreams and goals and aspirations of things we’d like to do, want to do — a-hundred-and-one “Someday I’ll” dreams. Until we find the drive to earnestly pursue them, they will forever remain in a fancy box with the words, “Someday, I’ll” emblazoned in gold near the latch. There they will remain until we decide, It’s time. Someday is today.

Until then, let them rest. No guilt. No shame. They will be there whenever we are ready to find the motivation and courage to act upon them.

When that time comes, we’ll know. And when it does, there are many professionals available to bring our dreams into focus and eventually a reality. All we have to do is find them.

Is your someday today?

If Only…

How many times have you said or thought, If only…? What are the most common things you say or think about? For example, if only I had more time, more money, or a better paying job; was more confident, could stop worrying so much, etc. How do you feel when you have if only thoughts?

Here are some of my “if only” thoughts, some of which I have accomplished. This isn’t to brag. Rather, it’s to show the power of manifestation and effort.

If only I had more money. Then I had money. Then it was if only I had a car, girlfriend, a wife, a house, a family, etc. Then I had all those things. Now as the years progress, I find myself thinking if only there were more hours in the day, I could write more books. If only I had three million dollars in the bank, I could retire and travel and do all the things I want to do, love to do.

Based on my habits of doing the work necessary to accomplish many of my previous if only thoughts, there’s a high probability of these coming true, too.

What are your if only thoughts? And more importantly, what will they mean to you if you had them? I ask this last question because as we grow and mature, our path shifts. So do our motives and interests. Quite often we lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in serving others. More money, stuff, and status no longer hold the same allure as they did in our youth.

Instead, as we realize how precious and finite this dash (time) we call life really is, most of us seek out more fulfilling and meaningful if only thoughts, such as experiences, closer relationships, and quality time with loved ones and friends. These in turn, fuel our passion to live a more joyous, rich, and abundant life. One where we connect more. Experience more. Love more. As we move our if only thoughts into soul filling experiences, our life is enhanced and enriched.

Again, I ask, what are your if only thoughts and when will you start turning them into fond memories?

The Barren Desert of Doubt
and Indecision

As previously mentioned, most of us struggle with low self-esteem and confidence in some area of our lives. We allow fear to block us from achieving our dreams and fully experiencing a life filled with meaning and purpose. We become stuck in the land of doubt and indecision. Stuck in a barren desert, under the blazing sun, where all we want is a drink of water. But, surrounded by sandy dunes, we feel lost, trapped with no guideposts to show us which way to go.

Though we are not lost in a desert at all, we still wander aimlessly, listening to the inner voices that say we can’t rather than search for the ones that say we can. We believe the voices that tell us that we aren’t smart enough, skilled enough, or lack the necessary courage to break free from whatever is holding us back.

Rather than risk our pride or ego to face our fears, or perhaps because our need to be perfect is greater that our want, need, or desire for change, we choose to give up before we are even halfway there. Wherever there is. Instead, we listen to and believe the voices in our head that scream, “You could never do that.” We play it safe, the voice wins, we settle for average, and then we die. Full of regret and a whole lot of “I wish I woulda” and “if only.”

To me, that is not a life. That’s a prison sentence in a jail built from self-imposed fear. One where we have consciously or unconsciously shackled ourselves to a wall in a dark, cold cell of lost opportunity, or addiction, or self-doubt, effectively slamming the door on our hopes and dreams. The worst part is that we hold the key to escape whenever we want but all too often, we choose not to use it.

“Freedom is in our grasp, but like a circus elephant, we stay tethered to a stake by a thin line because we believe we can’t break free. How crazy is that? Not really, because it happens all the time.”

Freedom is in our grasp, but like a circus elephant, we stay tethered to a stake by a thin line because we believe we can’t break free. How crazy is that? Not really, because it happens all the time. In fact, it’s normal because we either haven’t learned the requisite tools to flip the script in our minds or developed the habit and discipline to apply incremental changes to how we think and what we do.

The answers we desperately want are closer than most of us may realize. If we look closely at the totality of our experience, we may quickly notice that all we have been searching for has been there all along, in the six inches between our ears. In our mind, our body, and our soul. All three minds. Woven into the fabric of our being. We simply must learn to listen when each speak to us. For the answers to blossom and enrich our lives, we must learn to build confidence and trust, and, most importantly, stop believing all the lies we’ve told ourselves for years about our sense of worth or inadequacies.

The fact is, we can change the way we think and respond to our inner critics. It’s not easy. It takes courage, diligence, and time, but the rewards of following a process to develop a healthier mindset are immeasurable.

I can say this with confidence because I’ve done it. I’ve lived through the ups and downs that are a normal part of this journey we call life and will continue to ride the proverbial rollercoaster until I die. For me, life is a series of struggles, challenges, and opportunities — valuable lessons to be learned and repeated less frequently.

Every struggle I have faced — every fear, disappointment, and unmet expectation — all have been learning experiences that presented me with a choice: Accept what I can’t change or find the courage to change what I can.

Discovering new solutions has been and will continue to be a lifelong process. Thus far, for the past forty years, I have learned how to not panic, and stay centered in the midst of any sandstorm, self-imposed or otherwise. I understand the value of building a positive, forward-thinking mindset, and continually do things to build my own self-confidence by practicing the five key principles/habits I outlined in Ten Seconds of Boldness:

1. Identify the problem or opportunity

2. Clearly decide what you want

3. Know why you want it

4. Write a clear plan

5. Start working that plan

This five-step method has become a rubric for virtually any problem or opportunity I face. Since writing that book, I am more keenly aware of how I feel as I continue to battle the negative self-talk that still tries to hold me captive. I doubt my inner critics will ever completely go away. But I am far more confident knowing what to do when they attempt to hijack my process and progress.

If you ever feel the urge or need to dive deeper into any of the daily prompts or insights in this book and have not read or listened to Ten Seconds of Boldness, I encourage you to buy it and use it. It can have a profound impact on the trajectory of your life, as it has mine and those who’ve read it — several of them multiple times.

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Photo by Marek Piwnicki on Unsplash